I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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