you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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