I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
