Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Randomize
