Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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