If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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