google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
