make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
