my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
