Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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