if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
