bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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