Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
