Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
