I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dick very happy bro
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
