someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I deserve this hangover.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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