Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pappa wants mamma naked
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
