Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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