Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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