I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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