we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
