He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
