Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
