It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I supernannyed him into submission
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize