remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize