But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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