I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
