Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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