i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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