Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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