With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
