do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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