So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
