I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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