So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
