And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
