JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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