I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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