Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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