do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you never un-have a 4some
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
