So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my being single is dangerous.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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