Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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