He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
