I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i came on her dog
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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