when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
