The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
