I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this just has baby written all over it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
