Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
