Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
