Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
