3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize