yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
