He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
