My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
