That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
