Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
