You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
