if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
