if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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