My first STD was from a foam party
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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