I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
