So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
