absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
