I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
