You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
