some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
