the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
