ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Randomize
