I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
home. puking in laundry basket.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize