A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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