wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
