5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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