great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
