Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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