No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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