Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
