i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
