I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
